In Repose Blog

Rodeo Prayers

Here is a photo of mine that now graces the cover of the Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo's magazine called Behind the Chutes.

Most of the cowboys bow their heads before a ride. Usually their words to the higher power are silent, but many know and recite this rodeo prayer:

Our gracious and heavenly Father,
We pause, ever mindful of the blessings you have bestowed upon us.
We ask that you be with us at this rodeo.

As cowboys, Lord, we don't ask for any special favors,
We don't ask to never break a barrier,
Or to draw a round of steer that's hard to throw,
Or around a chute fighting horse,
Or a bull that is impossible to ride.

We ask only that you watch over us,
That you will guide us in the arena of life,
And that when we do make that last inevitable  ride to that special place up there,
where the grass is green and lush and stirrup high,
and the water runs cool, clear, and deep -

That you, as our last judge,
Will tell us that our entry fees have been paid.   

  - Amen.

Three Rules

When my husband first went in to the military years ago, his father shared with him these three rules:

1. Never pass up the opportunity to keep your mouth shut.
2. If you have something important to say, say it.
3. Do not confuse rule one with rule two.

Wise words and excellent advice.

I started thinking about these rules as I was at my infant bereavement photography session on Sunday morning. The mother wanted to put on a blouse for her photographs rather than have images captured with her wearing her hospital gown. The main photographer and the clergy person and the father, and I stepped out into the hallway for a few minutes.

The clergy person happened to recognize the photographer from a previous informational seminar about our organization, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. From the gist of the conversation, I gathered part of that seminar was a few photography tips given to non-professionals to help them take keepsake photos in difficult situations if a professional was not available.

The clergy person said those tips came in handy for him and proceeded to begin to recall a truly terrible story about a pregnant mother who was in a car accident. I will of course spare you these details. (Refer here to rule "one")

Remember, the father of the baby who had just died that morning, was standing right there. My stomach began knotting up.

I started thinking about the three rules. I started wondering what kind of professional trauma or grief training this person received.

After about two sentences about the other woman's child,  I interrupted the clergy person's story, loudly and forcefully by stating: "I do a lot of horse photography." I started talking about the rodeo and cowboys and where I get to stand at the stadium.

The father managed a weak smile and mentioned he used to care for horses in his younger days.

Blurting out the fact that I photograph horses probably doesn't quite qualify for the pure observance of rule 2, but the violation of rule 1 by the clergy person required immediate action and in a hurry.

Its all about empathy I think.

No one, not the doctor, the nurses, the family, the clergy person, the photographer....no one should do or say a thing around these people without first imagining that they were standing in the shoes of these poor people who a few days ago were excited parents-to-be, and who now were in shock, holding a very still and non-breathing bundle in their arms.

In this situation, and in life, we would all do well to remember these rules.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

 

I am at my first infant bereavement photography session. I am not taking photographs today but "shadowing" an experienced volunteer.  Yes, I can do this.

Absolutely.

In Repose Update

I think May is as busy or busier than December. With a graduating senior, parties, events, proms, and all needing photographing...well...I have been remiss in keeping up this blog. I will be back in full force mid June, I promise.

To my faithful readers, including Joyce Gemperlein. take a look at her fascinating article over at Obit

Quite the combination for me, life/death/photography. I think you will enjoy the article too.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

I am most pleased to announce that my application to volunteer for the organization, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, was approved yesterday.

Those of you who know me well, know that I had two high risk pregnancies.  I spent many months hospitalized, bedridden and terrified. Twice. At one point when I was 26 weeks along with my son, I thought we both were going to die. In the end, I gave birth to two completely normal children, at 37 and 36 weeks gestation. These experiences changed my life. They have also left me beyond grateful. My children were born perfectly healthy and normal. They are both beautiful and kind and accomplished, intelligent young adults.

What more could a parent want?

I have decided I am in a unique position to offer my photographic services to others not as fortunate.

     This nationwide non-profit organization that  aims to help parents who lose babies in early infancy has expanded its services.  In order to help families heal, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep provides parents with heirloom photographs and DVDs of their infants free of charge. NILMDTS cofounders Cheryl Haggard and Sandy “Sam” Puc’ want families across the country to know that there are now 2000 photographers nationwide willing to volunteer their services, and that number is growing each week.

     Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS) was founded after Cheryl and her husband Mike made the heartbreaking decision to take their six-day-old son, Maddux, off of life support on Feb. 10, 2005.  Knowing they wanted to remember their baby through photographs, Mike called Sandy’s company, Expressions Photography, after seeing her portraits of babies displayed at Presbyterian/St. Luke’s Hospital in Denver.  Sandy and her staff gently accommodated the Haggards’ request that photos be taken both before and after baby Maddux’s respirator was removed.  The remarkably distinctive photographs and extraordinary DVD set to music created by Sandy filled Cheryl with a sense of peace and pride.  Almost immediately, she knew she wanted to help provide other grieving parents with the same types of precious memories that are helping her heal.  The experience proved to be a profound one for Sandy as well.  She and Cheryl co-founded NILMDTS on April 8, 2005, exactly one month before Mother’s Day.

      “The purpose of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is to connect families experiencing an early infant loss with photographers throughout the nation,” said Cheryl.  “Calling a photographer to take pictures of a dying baby is the last thing most parents think of during such a traumatic and confusing time.  Since Maddux was our fourth child, we knew we wanted to remember him through photographs.”

     “Having those precious photos and DVD brought us a sense of closure,” she added.  “This organization comes from our hearts and our experiences, in the hope that other families will find a shorter path through heartache to healing.”

     Sandy said photographers from all over the nation, and several from other countries, are volunteering their services because they understand the power of the memories they create.

     “When there’s a hurricane or a fire, what is the one thing besides their children that people try to save?” she asked.  “Their photos.”

     “When a family loses a baby, their bodies and their minds are in shock.  They can barely remember the experience.  But with these photos, they can go back and really look at their babies--their faces, their hands, their toes.  They can see who the baby looks like.  It takes away some of the pain.”

     “Photographers who have taken pictures of these babies tell us it’s the hardest, most difficult thing they’ve ever done,” she added.  “Yet when they turn those images over to the families, they are never more proud.  Those images will last forever.”

      NILMDTS volunteer photographers will visit interested parents at any hospital in the photographer’s general vicinity (listed on the web site), providing a printable CD file of the images, plus a DVD set to music, free of charge.  Tax-deductible donations may be sent to Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, 1153 Bergen Parkway, #M103, Evergreen, CO 80439. 

 Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Are you Ready for the "Ride of Your Life"?

This year about 565,650 Americans are expected to die of cancer, more than 1500 people a day. Cancer is the second most common cause of death in the US, exceeded only by heart disease. In the US, cancer accounts for 1 out of every 4 deaths.

I am pleased to have been contacted by Equesse and the American Cancer Society to help sponsor the "Ride of Your Life" in 2008 by donating use of my photography in the campaign. The event will be held May 10 of this year.

This is a photograph of the beautiful and talented country singer Templeton Thompson riding Kawlidja at SpiritReins Ranch in Liberty Hill Texas. You can find out more information about the Ride of your life HERE.

Voodoo Child, a Big PETA Disappointment

Anyone who knows me at all knows that animals are a great part of my life. I love and respect them, sometimes more than most people think is reasonable.

I could not be a part of a sport, or any activity  that harms animals.

I was not surprised but merely disappointed and dismayed to find out that PETA made an appearance at the gates of the rodeo this year. I wondered how much they really knew about the reality of the sport.

I first started taking photographs of rodeos in 2003 after getting my boots dirty with local amateur events a bit further north where I recorded events as a photographer but I also participated as well. I was on a co-ed team for an entire season of monthly ranch rodeo events. Team X. We came in second at Tamehawk Arena in 2003.

People sometimes think that rodeo animals are abused and tortured. I beg to differ with that blanket assessment. A steer on a cattle ranch destined to your grocery store as a Tbone steak or Mickey D's as your drive through burger has a far greater chance of being misused and abused and being hurt, injured or even killed before becoming your dinner. 10 to 15 percent of ranch animals get seriously hurt or injured, gravely sick or die before they are slaughtered for consumption..

I don't eat mammals, but I don't begrudge you if you do. But please, don't judge rodeo as cruel while you chomp on your roast beef sandwich. The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) estimates 1.7103 million cattle and 2.3656 million calves died prior to slaughter in 2002, for a total of just under 4.1 million deaths.

In Rodeo, for the same time period, the PRCA. took this survey: Out of 17,743 animals, (This survey includes the bucking bulls, broncs, roping calves, steers, and all animals used in the events) only 38 showed injuries ( which is .00052 percent).             

Although often looked upon as a 'rough' sport, you can see that it is actually very well regulated. (Especially compare these figures to horse racing, often looked upon as more refined, where an estimated 1/3 of horses are injured.)

Here is a photo of th bucking bull called Voodoo Child a Bulter and Son's bull who has not been ridden in more than 70 attempts. Back in the chutes he leans against the panels and looks into the eyes of the cowboys asking for scratches, pats, rubs and attention. The cowboys are happy to oblige.

Photograph Copyright Candace Craw-Goldman and courtesy of the
Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo
Austin, Texas 2008

Voodoo is not unhappy. He is not abused, nor sad, nor mistreated. His every need is taken care of, he gets the very best transportation, nutrition, housing and medical care. He is worth a lot of money to the Butler's. He knows what his job is and he performs his required task of (less than) 8 seconds of bucking per night to a cheering crowd and spends the rest of his existence happier by far, most likely, than the steer that provided the meat for your taco at lunch or the fajita you order at the Mexican cantina on your way home.

So for those of you worried about the welfare of the rough stock at rodeo events, I'll repeat one of the best lines I have heard recently regarding the subject of animal abuse:

"The best way to help animals is to not eat them."

Rodeo? Not so much...

Still Working the Rodeo

Minor amounts of bloodshed so far.

Photograph Copyright Candace Craw-Goldman and courtesy of the
Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo
Austin, Texas 2008.

Photograph Copyright Candace Craw-Goldman and courtesy of the
Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo
Austin, Texas 2008.

I found myself the one applying pressure to this barrel horse's leg for a minute or two, till the vet could get there. 

He's going to be just fine. (Silly horse tried to JUMP the first barrel, instead of run around it.)

Why is Bull Riding so Popular?

Sixteen-time world champion rodeo cowboy Jim Shoulders was once asked this question by a reporter.  The Oklahoman answered in his dry, wry way:

"It's the same reason people glance off the road to get a better look at a car wreck. It's why the Romans went to the Colosseum to see the lions eat the Christians. People don't want to see somebody die, but they darn sure want to be there when he does."

Photograph Copyright Candace Craw-Goldman and courtesy of the
Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo
Austin, Texas 2008.

 

The Most Dangerous 8 Seconds...

...in sports, no doubt about it. Its bull riding, and not just bull riding but XTREME bull riding at the Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo and I get to photograph the experience up close and personal.

In the media reserved seats, section "N"? No, not me, (grin) I shoot for the rodeo itself so I get to be right there with the cowboys. I get to be close enough to hear them pray and swear, close enough to see the sweat bead up on their face. I get to eavesdrop on their gossip...and almost all of it seems to be details on this or that bull and what they know about him.

I get to go everywhere they can go except the toilet and the dressing room. The latter doesn't get much use, by the way, from my observations. Most of the bull riders gear up and change right next to the pens that hold the bulls behind the chutes in the arena.

I get to go up the ladder and stand right there on the narrow wooden platform behind the chutes while the cowboys tie on their ropes and wait their turn to climb on to their beasts. I can walk right up and touch a bull with my boots if I want.

Photograph Copyright Candace Craw-Goldman and courtesy of the
Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo
Austin, Texas 2008.

Yup, those are my boots.

I couldn't get any closer to this sport unless I strapped myself on to the bull and rode it myself.

Yes, I'm insured; my life, my health, even my camera and my equipment and last but not least, my rear-end with some really decent business liability insurance.

Photograph Copyright Candace Craw-Goldman and courtesy of the
Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo
Austin, Texas 2008

This bull's impatience to get the show started and his cowboy into the dirt had my heart rate up. Yes indeed. He tried to launch his 2200lb self over those rails more than one time. That close rail is only about 12 inches from my shins and I was more than ready to leap off the back end of the platform should he turn in my direction.

"Self-preservation" grinned one cowboy as I moved quickly backwards, "Its all about self-preservation."

To be continued...