In Repose Blog

The Paper Flower Funeral Club

Special article by Contributor Jamie Sue Austin

I’m part of  a group called the Paper Flower Funeral Club.  Often many beautiful, small, cemeteries are left neglected during secular remembrance holidays. With the residents families dead and gone there is no one left to honor their memories. Our group is dedicated to the revitalization of old, forgotten cemeteries through the placement of handmade paper flowers. 

(Here is one of our members making a purple rose  J We try to use bright colors so they can be seen from the roadside.)

This year I will be heading the placement ceremony at a small local cemetery.  The placement will be on October 30^th. October 30^th is often known as Mischief Night or Devil’s Night in the United States.  It is not uncommon for acts of trespassing and vandalism to occur on this night.  In part an October 30^th placement protests the negative acts conducted on that date, however the main reasoning behind selecting the date is because its proximity to the pagan holiday of Samhain which celebrates the yearly harvest and pays honor to the dead.  It is believed that the veil between the living life and the afterlife becomes thinner as Samhain approaches allowing those that have passed before to hear the petitions of their supplanters.

Heading the placement is a matter I take very seriously. What I say as we place flowers on the graves represents our intentions to honor those who came before us for their contributions to our lives.   In the same way that someone who presides over a funeral must feel a twinge of guilt for not knowing the correct thing to say I too am facing a considerable amount of frustration in selecting the right words.  How do I sum up the lifelong contributions of strangers who, most likely, are from various religious, cultural, and socio-economic backgrounds?  My audience is 100 years dried into dust beneath the clay, forgotten, and un-revered.  How do I emphasis our connection to them? 

You see, nothing exists in a vacuum.  The decisions made by the bones below when they were with flesh are as real and with consequence as the decisions we make today.  They built the roads we drive on, formed the companies we work for, settled the towns we live in,  and created the law and common practices we abide by.  The local culture we experience now is  result of their constant tinkering.   The lessons we have learned from our collective past were hard taught at their expense.   The water leeched from the remains beneath our feet generations before our birth is the same water in our cup today.  And while we wish we were much removed from then, untouchable by the cold and quiet grave, we are but one breath from becoming the same as and a part of them.  What words best connect the beating butterfly wings of the past to the winds of today?

It’s hard to convey the sense of unity that we all should feel.  If the footprints we leave behind in our daily walks were not washed away by rain or wind or sun… if they were collected, catalogued, and kept for prosperity… if our fleeting thoughts were bottled and shelved, we could see our effect on the world.  We could watch the piles of footprints grow, build warehouses for our  bottled dreams, and know the intimate details of the lives before ours.  We would see the path carved for us by the actions of our ancestors.  We could better understand how to carve a path for our decedents.

But, we are fickle temporal creatures.  Eternity stretches out around us in all directions and we see only a glimmer of a fraction, a mere glimpse of the now.  The past is a far away thing, a distant fairy tale, a story we tell our children.  The future is a wistful dream, a wisp of white smoke rising in the distance; intangible and ethereal.  The bits in between are ancillary characters to our personal dramas.  How can I explain a concept that I barely grasp myself?

Jamie Sue, I think you already, and most eloquently, have.--Candace

The Witches' Spell

Act IV, Scene 1 from Macbeth (1606)
-by William Shakespeare

A dark Cave. In the middle, a Caldron boiling. Thunder. Enter the three Witches.

1 WITCH. Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.

2 WITCH. Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.

3 WITCH. Harpier cries:—’tis time! ’tis time!

1 WITCH. Round about the caldron go;In the poison’d entrails throw.—
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter’d venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot!
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

2 WITCH. Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

3 WITCH. Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
Witches’ mummy; maw and gulf
Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark;
Root of hemlock digg’d i the dark;
Liver of blaspheming Jew;
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver’d in the moon’s eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar’s lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver’d by a drab,—
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron,
For the ingrediants of our caldron.
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

2 WITCH. Cool it with a baboon’s blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.

Fake Embalmed Heads for Halloween? Nope, They are Real!

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Hell Notes and Flowers: Offerings to the Dead

An article for In Repose, by Jamie Sue Austin

In the United States, like in much of the world, offerings or tributes to the dead are quite common. Wreaths and flowers laid across tombstones during Memorial Day are a form of ancestor worship we are all accustomed to. The term “ancestor worship” tends to dredge up images of primitive pagan cultures worshiping their grandfathers as God, but the practice of showing respect and honor to the dead is alive and well in the 21^st century. From candlelight vigils to roadside shrines, ancestor veneration (a more apt term) is all around us, and an integral part of society and the grieving process.

 

The intensity of belief in the power of ancestors to affect the physical living world varies from culture to culture. Offerings vary as well depending on the region. In the US flowers, wreaths, candles, even small plush animals or toys are common forms of tribute given to the dead. In the southern United States offerings of food, jewelry, and incense can be seen. Statues and monuments to the dead are common as well. In fact, some of our most famous national monuments, such as Mt. Rushmore and the Lincoln Memorial are colossal displays of ancestor veneration. Memorial Day is a nationally recognized holiday for honoring the dead. Easter, All Soul’s Day, and Candelmas are commonly respected days for ancestor veneration in the US as well.

Outside of the US ancestor veneration is just as common. In China, long thought of as a place of strong ancestral and filial ties, tributes to the dead come in a variety of forms. Depending on the belief system, some group offer tributes as a means of caring for their elders in the after life. Paper versions of common everyday objects are often burned as offerings to ancestors who in turn are believed to act as “guardian angels” by preventing serious misfortune. The belief that those who have passed before us are somehow looking over our shoulders and protecting us from harm is common even in the United States. A common Chinese offering is Joss paper, a form of spiritual money, burned to provide wealth for those living in the afterlife. Joss paper is often red or yellow with a foil stamp in the center.  Hell Notes are another form of spiritual money commonly used in China. They are bills, sometimes fashioned after western money, in excessively large denominations.  Aside from paper money, other objects are often offered to the dead such as paper mâché  cards, boats, houses, credit cards, and electronics. Incense, candles, and small food items often accompany these offerings. All through China and Singapore the Hungry Ghost Festival is celebrated, much in the way that Halloween is celebrated in the US, with the addition of offerings to the dead and lots of food. Vietnam has similar customs using incense, candles, and Hell Notes as offering. Often Vietnamese families will prepare large meals for family gatherings and as an offering to the dead.

Traditions of ancestor veneration are not confined to eastern societies. In Egypt the influence of ancestors is very great. Large, expensive tombs were created to protect the remains of the departed. Bodies were ritualistically purified then mummified to preserve them for use in the after life. Food, money, furniture, spices, clothing, and sometimes even pets and servants were buried with the dead to ensure their comfort on the other side. During Samhain, in Ireland, it is believed that the veil between the living and the dead is thin. Food, light, and incense are left for the dead. A place is set at the table for any relatives who have passed within the last year. Samhain is observed by neo-pagans in the United States, Great Britain, Canada, and Australia as well. Modern Halloween customs have their origins in the holiday of Samhain. Other popular holidays celebrating death include All Saints Day, All Souls Day, and Day of the Dead.

In Mexico, Day of the Dead celebrations include decorating gravesites and leaving gifts. Gifts range from flowers and toys to bottles of alcohol and candy. The home is also decorated for the event and offerings of food and drink are left out. Images of skulls are popular Day of the Dead decorations, though most skeletons and skulls look less scary than whimsical.  Skulls made from sugar and decorated with icing are given to both the living and the dead. Images of the Virgin Mary are also very popular. Overall the decorations and mood are much more colorful and bright during Day of the Dead than other during similar holidays.

Regardless of the tradition, almost every individual is accustomed to some form of ancestor veneration. It is hard to imagine a world in which no amount of care or concern was given to the dead. Perhaps it is an important part of the human psyche to believe that a connection with a loved one can remain after death. Or maybe, in honoring others, we ensure that ourselves will not be forgotten.

Many fine articles by Jamie Sue and others can be found at the Resource Forum on In Repose

What does Halloween mean to YOU?

"Candy corn" for my daughter. She likes the orange part of the sweet the best. Me? I liked the little white tips when I was growing up.

"Dressing up and seeing how much candy gathering is possible" for my son, who really, is not going to be able to get away with it this year as he has grown to be TOO tall and too OLD. (Are you reading this my child?) "Nothing much" for my husband. (Otherwise known as Mr. Christmas in our house, Halloween is merely another day for him.)

Personally, I find myself thinking about how different cultures do and do not celebrate their dead on a regular day or with a regular feast. Certainly that research is on my rather lengthy list of things to do and research for the Resource Forum on InRepose.com.

Halloween can be a very tough time for some people. Deidre Blair of The Final Reflections wrote to me to tell me about how hard October is for her personally.

"Halloween is a sad holiday for me.  It holds so many emotions... My husband died on October 22, so that is just right around the corner from Halloween. I have a child, and have always said, there is no way I can ignore this holiday.  Since my husband's death almost 7 years now, I avoid shopping any costume aisle.  Skulls, bones, plastic headstones, it all turns me off.  My daughter has never asked that we decorate our home with Halloween merchandise."

Deidre explains how the month of October begins a certain kind of countdown of anniversaries of events surrounding the passing of her husband.  She has most graciously offered to write more about how this  holiday affects her personally for In Repose Blog. I hope to publish her post soon.

22 Days to Halloween

October has been a scary month for me so far and we are no where near Halloween. Deadlines and projects mostly in my photography business has kept me hopping and I have not been able to post as many blogs as I regularly do.

I leave for Southern California this weekend for another big photography gig so there will be no rest for me until we hit November, a month I am hoping to officially declare as my "catch up" month.

Halloween is just around the corner and with my jam packed month I know will be here before I know it. I am not sure I will be able to enjoy the day, but I sure would like to. My involvement in InRepose suggests I make special note of this day, but I have not made any plans. I found myself wondering how the adults out there plan on celebrating (or maybe ignoring) the holiday?

How about special treats, drinks or foods or goodies? Anyone have a recipe they'd like to share? How about a story of a favorite trick or a memorable costume? I'll add something on tomorrow's blog...as soon as I find the time!