In Repose Blog

Awry Ashes

A blog entry by Jamie Sue Austin

The news always has at least one ghoulish tale of funerary mix up to tell each month.  Whether it's misplaced bodies or abused corpses it seems like there is always something amiss at the local funeral home.  I seriously doubt that the incidence of misconduct among funeral providers is as high as our media outlets would have us believe, but it still raises the question as to how such situations arise.  Which regulatory agency is slacking off now?

In the news today: Funeral director charged with ashes fraud

In reading this I thought to myself, what DID he give the families?  I mean, it seems like it would be relatively simple.  One body equals one container of ashes.  There shouldn't be that much occasion for confusion.  If he wasn't giving them the ashes of their loved ones what was he giving them?

But, a better question is how did the families realize they were in possession of someone else's ashes?  I don't think I could tell one person's ashes from another unless there was an artificial hip joint in them or something.

Photographs Made from Ashes

Some of you might know that besides running this business at In Repose I am also an artist and photographer. Most days I work on both pursuits, albeit separately. Sometimes my businesses cross paths and create interesting intersections in my life.

Today I read about Inkafterlife.com. The thing is, before even finishing the news article, I found myself thinking; "I knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time."

I mean, there are urns and paintings and pencils and jewelery, and now, there are ink jet photographs combined with cremation ash available to memorialize your loved one. Starting at 49.00 you can print a grey scale photograph that has ash mixed right into the ink.

I can just hear the photographers I know who print their work at home mulling this one over considering all of the trials and tribulations of ink jet printers, and their piles of prints that were unusable in some way. What if the color is off? A streak on the photograph? What about (gasp!) a paper jam?

Do you just throw away those prints? And from the ashes perspective, there is always the question "How do I know they used my loved one's ashes anyway?" Heck, how do you know they used ashes at all? Wouldn't it tend to clog up the print heads? I should think so.

What about the photo itself?  Will it be a point and shoot of Grandpa that someone took with a 2 megapixel camera at the lowest resolution setting that would look horrible printed up at 8x10? No? Should we send in something nicer? What about using that professional photograph you splurged on last year at the reunion? Wait a second...What about that little thing called COPYRIGHT?

You cannot just send in a professional photographer's print and have it duplicated in anyway by anyone without written permission from the creator of the image. Its illegal.

I looked for any mention of copyright considerations at Inkafterlife.com. I found it in their terms and conditions. 

As a user, you are authorized only to view, copy, print, and distribute documents on this Web site so long as (1) the document is used for informational purposes only, and (2) any copy of the document (or portion thereof) includes the following copyright notice: Copyright © 2007 inkafterlife.com. All rights reserved.

Not one word is mentioned on the website about the copyrights held by photographers nor the way to seek permission to use copyrighted photographs.

My advice would be to spend the 50.00 toward getting a lovely portrait made of your loved ones before they are gone, by a photographer whose style you love. Here is a photograph of my dad and his dog Murphy who lived a long and wonderful 16 years and is sorely missed.

Lets ask my dad if that photo would mean any more to him if her ashes were mixed into the print.

Photograph Copyright Candace Craw-Goldman 2006

My guess is that he would say "No way".

Ferrari and the Cremation Urn

So the story goes something like this:

A young boy, obsessed with race cars, and Ferarris in particular, dies of cancer in 2004.

His parents knew that one of their son's final wishes was to have his ashes placed in an urn in the shape of a Ferrari. They contacted a Danish Funeral home, the Begravelses Service, and inquired if they could create such an urn.

According to Carzten Mark, owner of the funeral home, when contacted about the idea, Ferrari Import Denmark gave written permission to design the urn. They were very helpful, recalls Mark, and "Even sent us the logo and stickers to use."

The single urn was designed only for the boy, and there were no plans to create additional Ferrari inspired vessels.

Then, sometime later, a Danish television station filmed a report on the funeral home's custom-made urns. It did mention that one urn was created in the shape of a Ferrari, but it did not show the urn on film.

The Italian car-maker is now suing the funeral home for copyright breach for the sum of 250,000 kroner (About 46,000 USD), claiming the television spot mentioning the name was marketing, and therefore misusing the Ferarri name.

Who has seen the urn?  Only the family, the funeral home and Ferrari Import Denmark.

The trial is set for October.

By the way, in case you did not know, the entry level cost of a consumer Ferrari F430 is about 200,000 USD.

"Resomation is NOT Boiling!" Explains founder of Company

                                     

The following reply was left in response to my blog post of August 6, "Burial, Cremation or how about Boiling?"

I am the founder of Resomation Ltd who make this equipment. The newspapers have coined the phrase "boiling" the body. It is not! It is a chemical hydrolysis (with added alkali)at high temperature 170C with the body immersed in water. Boiling is a phase change where water is turned to steam.This system is under high pressure and boiling does not happen.The body tissues are rapidly (within 30 minutes) "resolved" into liquid and back to their original organic building blocks.It is a very efficient speeded up version of natural decomposition and the liquid can be applied on horticultral land if desired.The liquid produced has a very slight and innocuous odour of soap! It certainly is not cooking or boiling as the tissues are rapidly turned into a natural based chemical liquid as would be found at the nd of a natural decomposition albeit it might take a year or more. It is certainly less violent ,destructive ,contaminating and energy consuming than cremation.

--Sandy Sullivan, Resomation Ltd

Burial, Cremation, or how about BOILING?

Firm in Glasgow Scotland has come up with a green alternative to cremation - boiling bodies in water.

The process, known as resomation, uses chemicals with the boiling water to turn the bodies to dust.

Apparently, the process is comparable in cost to cremation and yet does not release any harmful by-products into the air.  Resomation Ltd hopes to acquire legal rights to the process within the next six months.

Read the full article at the Daily Record.

Win a FREE Prepaid Cremation!

Interestingly enough the very day I noticed a company mentioned online called The Neptune Society, in the mail comes the following, addressed to my elderly mother.

First I wondered how they got her name and address. Then looking at the information, "Simple, Economical and Dignified, That's our motto!" At first blush, the pitch seems reasonable. "Lock into today's price" no matter when you might want the service.

Hmmmm. I decided to do just a little digging. The first thing I found out is there are many Neptune Societies out there and not all are owned by the same company. Then I found some pretty harsh words written by the Funeral Consumer Alliance  (The FCA is a Federation of Nonprofit Consumer Information Societies protecting a consumer's right to choose a meaningful, dignified, affordable funeral since 1963). The FCA is not at ALL sure the Neptune Society offers consumers a good deal. The link above lists many reasons, and has contacted the FTC with their concerns, I will quote one of those concerns here:

" That Neptune lists its "cremation container" at $298 is further evidence of milking the situation for its own benefit—to the detriment of consumers. No state will tell a company how much it may or may not charge for various items of merchandise. But $298 for what could be a $10 cardboard box?! By taking an outrageous mark-up on the box and minimal pricing on services, Neptune has pocketed more than it placed in trust and limited the amount of any transfer or refund should you die while away or if you decided to cancel the whole thing altogether."

While I am a "free market gal" all the way, something just doesn't seem right about that way of doing business! Again, not all Neptune Societies are the same, but if you get a similar offer in the mail I urge you to do your homework before signing on the dotted line. I will leave you with one more quote from the FCA:

"Not all Neptune Societies are owned by the same company. We have no way of knowing if they all operate the same way. The following trust fund trustees are identified on the preneed contract sent to the FCA office: Emanuel Weintraub, Jacqueline Bell, and Irwin Karp—with offices in Burbank, San Pedro, and Santa Barbara, California. If you have a different preneed agreement with another Neptune Society, the FCA office would appreciate a copy—to confirm that others might be doing the same thing, or to give credit where credit is due if they aren't."

 

In Repose Interview: Floramorial

Readers of In Repose Blog might remember my post of May 23, 2007, Tomatoes to Die For where I talked about yet another way cremation remains might be used in a memorial.  Recently, In Repose spoke with Bob Jenkins of Floramorial

Hi Bob, can you describe how Floramorial came to be and how long you have been in business?

Floramorial came to be by a request of a dying wife.  Marge Strand was dying of cancer and requested upon her death to be cremated and turned into a rose bush.  Her husband of fifty years, Frank Strand, made it a mission to find a way to fulfill his wife’s wishes.  After several years of research, today her cremated remains, along with her mother’s cremated remains are living as a tree and a rose bush on the church grounds where they worshipped.  Frank spent several years researching cremated remains, developing plants and sitting in on focus groups.  We brought our product to market in fall of 2006.

Can you briefly describe the science behind Floramorial?

Cremated remains are primarily calcium phosphate, an inert, insoluble stone much like a fossil.  Floramorial is created by a chemical conversion using a catalyst to separate the calcium and phosphate, allowing the phosphate to be bonded with the root system of living flora.

What type of plants can be fed with Floramorial?

Any type of flora can be nourished by Floramorial.  The boundaries are the limits of the mind.

Are edible plants really a good idea?

That is real personal question.  The edible plants would certainly be nourished by Floramorial, but as far as someone creating an edible memorial would be a personal decision.

How much product is actually returned to use in the soil?

That is the choice of the family.  We can convert the entire amount of cremated remains, which on average is five to six pounds of cremated remains or a small portion, allowing the family to keep some ash for a keepsake, place in a mausoleum niche or bury.  If a family chooses to scatter, Floramorial is the perfect solution.

Can I save some or all of the product to use in the future?

You can save portions of the cremated remains for use later but the soil is an organic soil and we recommend use within one year.  There is no age limit on cremated remains, so ashes can be of any age and converted into Floramorial soil.

Can it be used with an indoor potted plant?

Floramorial can be used with indoors plants, outdoor plants, existing landscape, new plants – any type of flora that exists.  If placed with existing indoor plants, the phosphate will be dispersed in the current soil and become part of the flora of that plant.

Can I touch the medium with my hands?

Floramorial soil is safe to touch.  It is an organic soil and cremated remains are safe to touch, even though they are not visible in the soil.  The breakdown of the calcium does not take place until water comes into contact with the soil and even then, it is still safe.

I don't have a green thumb, what if my plant dies?

The plant can be replaced at anytime.  Once the phosphate is released into the soil, it will remain there for many years.  If the original plant dies, a new plant can be placed in the soil and it will be nourished by the phosphate in the Floramorial soil.

How do you feel Floramorial fits into current "green" thinking?

There are many ideas of “green memorials” but Floramorial truly contributes to the environment in a safe and positive way.  It is a real recycling process, allowing a loved one to go back to the earth and provide nutrients in a positive manner for plant growth, while enhancing the environment.

What is the most common misconception about your product?

Some people mistakenly conclude that cremated remains are nutrient to support plant life.  Chemically, cremated remains are inert, non-biodegradable.  It is rock phosphate which must be converted to orthophosphate plant food.

Can I have my funeral home take care of the ordering process for me?

We recommend you go through a local funeral home or cremation society.  If they are not aware of us, the funeral establishment or the family can contact us and we will work with the funeral professional of their choice.

This photo is of the container the family receives when they order Floramorial.  It contains one cubic foot of soil, which is approximately 22 pounds of soil.  Included with the container is a Certificate of Authenticity that is notarized and proclaims the soil contains the ashes of said person, planting tips and suggestions, a garden trowel and two pairs on plastic, non-latex gloves.  The gloves are included because some people may be uncomfortable putting their hands in the soil knowing their loved one’s ashes are mixed in.  The soil is completely safe to touch.

"Baba, do you want to be a birdbath?"

My mother, otherwise known in our house as "Baba"  lives with us now. She occasionally talks about her demise, and usually ends her thought with the reminder that she wants her ashes "thrown in the river".

The other day I was watching her fill the bird feeders when I decided to just go ahead and ask:

"Baba, do you want to be a birdbath?"

"A birdbath? What are you talking about, be a birdbath? How can anyone be a birdbath?" Bird crazy and very intrigued about what the heck I could be talking about, she wanted to know more.

"Well I know you want to be cremated, but maybe, there might be another choice about what to do with your ashes, other than the river toss you have in mind."

Now, there is Grotto. Recently I spoke with Kurt Zimmerman, one of the founders of Grotto, which create cremation memorials for home and garden.

Tell me a little about Grotto, Kurt.
Grotto, Inc. creates unique cast in stone cremation memorials for the home and garden landscape. We blend the ash remains with natural elements white cement, river stone, and light sand in making statues, planters, benches and other items of dedication.

How did Grotto come to be?
Last year my business partner, Larry Mervine, and I had been driving and talking. We had gotten on to the topic of death and Larry explained that he wanted to be cremated. He recollected an article he read in Entrepreneur Magazine about a company that put cremated remains into artificial reefs. That was certainly interesting, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do but added that my wife's father was cremated and his ashes were in a box on a shelf.  For me, a box on a shelf didn't seem a very meaningful dedication. The reef idea, albeit a unique one, left me wondering how families continue to honor a loved one who is on the ocean floor. Just about that time we passed along the road, a garden store.  Larry was quiet for a moment, turned, looked at me and said "What about cremation memorials for the home and garden?"� Grotto was born.

What is the best thing about your business?
The best thing about this business is the constant affirmation we get that this is a great idea; from family members to Funeral Directors, there is an overwhelming acceptance and belief in what we provide. People have expressed that it is a great way to combine the ashes of loved-ones in a single memorial or to provide many family members each with their own memorial. For those who choose cremation the big thing is the portability of our memorials, being able to move and not leave a loved-one behind. Still others think our selection is broad enough to provide a personal statement a family wants to make about their loved-one.

What is the worst thing?
The worst thing is hearing what families choose to do with loved-ones ashes with out knowing about Grotto. My Aunt passed away, not too long ago, and her wishes were to have her ashes spread over park ground in Arizona. My mother and her sister were best of friends and I know my mother would have loved to have had some of her ashes in a memorial in her garden in Pennsylvania.

Can you tell me about a typical day at Grotto?
A typical day for me can involve many things. Managing ways to improve our visibility as a company is one of them. Talking to you, Candace, helps me to communicate to families there is a new unique way to memorialize and continue to honor a loved-one. What is unique is that we have a patent pending method for blending ash remains with our statuary, thereby creating a permanent memorial. That Grotto statuary with its signature white and satin finish is an aesthetic for the home and garden. That Grotto statuary interacts with the environment; a planter memorial can be used to display flowering plants, a bench memorial is a wonderful way to reflect on memories, in a garden setting, and a fountain memorial with its flowing water is calming, and thought provoking.

How is the statuary made?
Grotto cremation memorials are made combining ash remains with natural elements including the finest white cement, river stone and light sand to provide exceptional durability and finish. Our pieces are molded then released, cured, finished then provided with a deep penetrating sealer that is a moisture barrier and strengthening agent. These processes add to the signature look and feel that makes Grotto statuary a unique choice.

How does someone who is not in the DC/Virginia make use of your service and be able to receive a product?
Ideally, any person or family interested in a Grotto memorial for their loved one should be able to go to their local funeral home to see and feel our memorials on display. That is our goal. We understand that may not be possible in all situations. If you contact us, we will make the necessary effort to provide your local funeral home with the information they will need to assist you.

Do you provide a guarantee or warranty? I know I have had birdbaths and other statuary break apart. What recourse would a client have if that would happen to one of your products?
Grotto cremation memorials are made of high quality materials by skilled craftsman and are expected to weather generations of outdoor life. However the company cannot be responsible for any damage or deterioration of the memorial due to accidents, destruction, acts of God or misuse. This is something we certainly do not want to see happen. It is in our interest and practice to be prepared for a situation such as this. If a memorial broke as a result of a material defect or in shipping we would pulverize the statuary and recast it with no additional expenditure provided by the family.

What kind of precautions or care are taken with remains during the process of making the statuary?
When we receive ash remains we maintain them at our facility in a secure storage area. We identify them with the loved ones name, and information related to the death certificate.  Other groups of numbers are assigned and used for purposes of further documentation. With that we also create a Certificate of Authenticity that identifies a selected memorial with a particular loved one. Selected molds and ash remains are matched prior to blending then cast.

Where do the designs come from? Are they unique to your company or are they available to other "regular" statuary makers?
We offer custom designs for individuals and families who seek a more personal expression of their love. We also provide a catalog of unique statuary molds, families can select from, that are made for Grotto.

Do you supply plaques or nameplates for the products?
Yes, we can supply plaques or nameplates for our memorials at additional cost. There is a section on our PO Form for inscription.  The plates themselves usually come in bronze, durable plastic with metal faux finish and laser engraved or other type metal. In some cases a plaque may not fit on a memorial, a stand alone plaque maybe necessary. When  choosing a memorial consider where a plaque may be placed if a plaque on the memorial is necessary.

Is there anything special you would like potential clients to know?
I would like potential clients to know we want to provide our services through their local funeral home.  As we expand not everyone may have heard about Grotto. On our web site www.grottocm.com we list under Provider Directory locations of participating Funeral Homes that families may contact. If your funeral home is not listed please contact us and we will provide them with the necessary information to assist you. I would also like to let individuals and families know that we provide the same type of services for beloved pets that have been cremated, too.  Please contact us through our web site www.grottocm.com. We have a selection of memorials there to choose from.

Mom likes the birdbath idea. I do too. I think Dad should be the bench with the squirrels. :)

The International Scattering Society

With more and more Americans, indeed, more and more of the world's population choosing cremation over other forms of disposition, more businesses and services are being formed to support the trend.

There is the story of Dwight Smith and his mother who had travelled to Ireland and fell in love with the lakes near Killarney. When Smith's mother passed away last August, her last wish was to have her remains scattered in Ireland. Smith wanted to do as his mother had requested but did not have the time nor the resources to make the trip himself so soon after her death. "What she doesn't want is to be is in Long Island Sound," he said.

Checking around he discovered the International Scattering Society  of Lee's Summit, Missouri, who offered to handle for a fee, all of the details required to fulfill Smith's mother's final wish.

In Repose recently spoke with Kelly Murtaugh, President of the International Scattering Society, to learn more.

Please describe your business in just a sentence or two.

Through our society members, we travel to many locations around the world and scatter cremated remains (ashes) for our customers.  We also provide a permit service which investigates the legal options available to our customers who wish to perform the scattering personally.

How did you get into this business?

This business developed from a thought I had about where my son might one day scatter my remains.  After some long hard thoughts about the places that meant the most to me, I decided.  I talked to other people about what I had in mind and found that through the course of discussion they began talking about where they might like to be scattered.  After some seriously long consideration and some discussions with a very dear friend and mentor in the funeral/cremation industry, a plan hatched and here we are.

What is the best thing about your business?

The best thing about this business is being able to provide a service to people that is truly appreciated and provides them with peace of mind and closure.  We talk with people who have a heartfelt desire to honor their loved one and we get to help them achieve it.

What is the worst thing?

The worst thing about this business is we have had a few times that we were unable to accommodate a specific location for a family.  We are working very hard to develop relationships and to recruit new society members so that this doesn't happen in the future.

What is the hardest thing?

The hardest thing about this business is cured with education.  Many people have the wrong information about cremated remains and what is legal or not.  There are many ideas about cremated remains being bad for environment or if a person died from disease that the "germs" are still viable and able to contaminate other people.

What is a typical day like "at the office"?

There is no typical day at the office.  There are days that roll over into night on lots of occasions.  There are days that start at 5:00 am in order to contact Europe at a decent hour.   We are on the computer 70% of the time answering e-mails and researching locations.  We call 6 different government or public offices to investigate permits for each permit. We process Society Member applications and send out direct mail fliers.  We evaluate possible future locations and begin the process of building professional contacts.  Some days we travel by plane, some days we travel by boat and some days we walk

What is the most important thing you would like potential clients to know?

The most important thing I would like potential clients to know is that integrity is our highest value.  I want our potential clients to know that when we take possession of their loved one that they will be treated with respect and honor and that the service that was requested will be the service delivered.

Living and Dying Green

While reading the Green Burial Council's FAQ section and their recommendations regarding environmentally friendly burial options, I was a bit taken aback by this sentence:

"For the time being, we suggest that people with dental fillings who expect to be cremated in the near future consider having their fillings removed."

The concern being mercury pollution, obviously. But ouch, do I really want to go in for dental work during my last days on earth?  Would you? Reading this DID make me imagine making the call for an appointment to my dentist.

"Tammy? Hi. Its Candace. You know I have that cremation thing coming up. Yes, uh huh, yeah, you know how busy schedules can get this time of year. Hey, I was just looking over my last-minute list of things to do and I think I better get that filling removed from that lower molar before its too late. Do you have any openings next week with Dr. Cole? Thursday? OK. Can we make it in the afternoon? Yeah, I really feel like sleeping in."

There are more ways to dying green than you might think, and more options available every day for the environmentalist who wants their last mortal act to honor mother earth. Tomorrow I'll talk about a company that offers to turn your cremains into plant food. I am not kidding.

In the meantime, for more information on eco-friendly funerals you can visit our In Repose Resource Forum where Kat DeLong has a new article entitled appropriately enough, Dying Green