In Repose Blog

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

I am most pleased to announce that my application to volunteer for the organization, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, was approved yesterday.

Those of you who know me well, know that I had two high risk pregnancies.  I spent many months hospitalized, bedridden and terrified. Twice. At one point when I was 26 weeks along with my son, I thought we both were going to die. In the end, I gave birth to two completely normal children, at 37 and 36 weeks gestation. These experiences changed my life. They have also left me beyond grateful. My children were born perfectly healthy and normal. They are both beautiful and kind and accomplished, intelligent young adults.

What more could a parent want?

I have decided I am in a unique position to offer my photographic services to others not as fortunate.

     This nationwide non-profit organization that  aims to help parents who lose babies in early infancy has expanded its services.  In order to help families heal, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep provides parents with heirloom photographs and DVDs of their infants free of charge. NILMDTS cofounders Cheryl Haggard and Sandy “Sam” Puc’ want families across the country to know that there are now 2000 photographers nationwide willing to volunteer their services, and that number is growing each week.

     Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS) was founded after Cheryl and her husband Mike made the heartbreaking decision to take their six-day-old son, Maddux, off of life support on Feb. 10, 2005.  Knowing they wanted to remember their baby through photographs, Mike called Sandy’s company, Expressions Photography, after seeing her portraits of babies displayed at Presbyterian/St. Luke’s Hospital in Denver.  Sandy and her staff gently accommodated the Haggards’ request that photos be taken both before and after baby Maddux’s respirator was removed.  The remarkably distinctive photographs and extraordinary DVD set to music created by Sandy filled Cheryl with a sense of peace and pride.  Almost immediately, she knew she wanted to help provide other grieving parents with the same types of precious memories that are helping her heal.  The experience proved to be a profound one for Sandy as well.  She and Cheryl co-founded NILMDTS on April 8, 2005, exactly one month before Mother’s Day.

      “The purpose of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is to connect families experiencing an early infant loss with photographers throughout the nation,” said Cheryl.  “Calling a photographer to take pictures of a dying baby is the last thing most parents think of during such a traumatic and confusing time.  Since Maddux was our fourth child, we knew we wanted to remember him through photographs.”

     “Having those precious photos and DVD brought us a sense of closure,” she added.  “This organization comes from our hearts and our experiences, in the hope that other families will find a shorter path through heartache to healing.”

     Sandy said photographers from all over the nation, and several from other countries, are volunteering their services because they understand the power of the memories they create.

     “When there’s a hurricane or a fire, what is the one thing besides their children that people try to save?” she asked.  “Their photos.”

     “When a family loses a baby, their bodies and their minds are in shock.  They can barely remember the experience.  But with these photos, they can go back and really look at their babies--their faces, their hands, their toes.  They can see who the baby looks like.  It takes away some of the pain.”

     “Photographers who have taken pictures of these babies tell us it’s the hardest, most difficult thing they’ve ever done,” she added.  “Yet when they turn those images over to the families, they are never more proud.  Those images will last forever.”

      NILMDTS volunteer photographers will visit interested parents at any hospital in the photographer’s general vicinity (listed on the web site), providing a printable CD file of the images, plus a DVD set to music, free of charge.  Tax-deductible donations may be sent to Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, 1153 Bergen Parkway, #M103, Evergreen, CO 80439. 

 Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Family Heirloom

Charles Peavey's family had an unusual family heirloom; a mummified corpse of a baby. "Baby John" was lovingly passed down for generations. But a judge has ordered Baby John to be put to rest in burial because there is no DNA evidence proving kinship.

Say what? So as long as its a blood relative, New Hampshire is ok with its citizens collecting and drying dead babies?

Until police confiscated Baby John in 2006, the mummy had been on display on a bureau in the Peavey home. Relatives and friends reportedly treated the desiccated infant as a family member. He would get holiday cards and even gifts. One, he was given a dried fish.

Denying any "wierdness" going on, Peavey says he cannot afford the DNA testing the state required to be able to release the remains back to his family.

Peavey tried hard to keep "Baby John", believed to be the stillborn child of a great great uncle, in the family. "It's one of the few things from our family past that we have left. When I pass on, I was looking forward to passing  it on to another family member to keep some of the history for future family members."

Sheesh. What about an inheritance or even a stamp collection, dude?

--Thanks to Jo Dwyer for the newspaper clipping!

Mother's Milk Saves Babies

The Mother's Milk Bank in Austin Texas says Tammy Duclow is their top donor. Over 6 years she donated 1562 gallons of breast milk to help save babies' lives.

Premature and sick babies are 6 to 10 times more likely to contract life-threatening intestinal infections when fed formula rather than human milk. Last year the Mother's Milk Bank had 280 donors and sent more than 57,400 bottles of milk to 30 hospitals.

Not only do breastfed babies derive greater health benefits throughout their lives, so do their mothers, who enjoy a reduced risk of breast and ovarian cancer.

August is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month.

"I will never be a brain doctor or save anyone that way," says Tammy. "But this was one time I could say, 'I'm helping save a life.'"

Good job Tammy, I bet you helped save a lot more lives than just one.

When Bubbles Dies

Your child informs you that Bubbles, his beloved goldfish, is “napping” at the top of his tank.

After confirming that the “nap” is permanent and that Bubbles has died, how should you handle the death of a pet?

For some practical advice and an excellent article by Kat DeLong, please visit the Resource Forum at In Repose HERE.

The Sad Case of Little Emilio Gonzales

Emilio Gonzales, 17 months old, suffers from Leigh’s disease, a neurometabolic disorder that causes the central nervous system to collapse. Blind and deaf since birth, a recent MRI indicates things are going downhill. “His brain is rotting…and it’s filled with giant holes,” Says Dr. David Anglin, the chief doctor treating the child. “He’s as close to brain dead as you can be without being brain dead. He has no control of his bodily functions. He’s lost human dignity.” 

There is quite a fight brewing over little Emilio’s fate.

Children’s Hospital in Austin Texas, founded by nuns, relies on the Roman Catholic Church for ethical guidance and theological questions on the care of its patients.

State law says that when doctors determine that ongoing treatment is futile, they can start a process that gives a family ten days to find another facility to care for their loved one or face withdrawal of treatment.

More than thirty other facilities have been contacted over the last two months. Not one would consider accepting Emilio. All have claimed they have nothing more to offer the child. 

The hospital staff is under tremendous stress. Nurses have asked not to be on the case and who can blame them, noting the publicity and legal haranguing and name calling. 

Oh yes, Catarina Gonzales has publicly admitted being verbally abusive to hospital staff and calling them “murderers”. 

There are others who support Gonzales and say she is only doing what she can, to try to save her child’s life.

Catarina Gonzales, by the way, is a single mother of 23 who is not responsible for little Emilio's medical bills. The taxpayers are picking up that tab by way of Medicare and Medicaid.